My Crimson Coat

I first wore my crimson coat on a frigid night. November flurried around me, anxiously, yet full of hope. Dressed in mahogany boots and a train conductor’s cap, I was a streak of scarlet. My partner in crime, Sofia, was spinning concentric circles like a budget figure skater. We snuck out to catch a glimpse of the stars and the snow. As we held hands and twirled endlessly, Our laughter wove itself through the starry night sky. Then we fell. My back carved into the powdered ground, but the pain lasted for less than a second. As I found Sofia's eyes, I wondered what I did to deserve a life like this. A life that my laughter would carry me through. A life that even in the darkest moments, one thing would give me hope; the warmth of the people around me.

The next year was a blur of magic and memories. We steeped hours with sunshine and mist, and sat back to watch the rainbows form. We strung together words until they held meaning that was just for us. A secret language with the haze of a memory. A legacy we didn’t think about, until it died out. And the  smiles — so many smiles — that I tried to trace, and memorize, and then wear too. I lived a life in a storybook; the kind that ends happily ever after. 

But everything that comes up must come down. Some time when I wasn't looking, gray clouds flushed a once purple-pink sky. Adding time to a mystical winter wonderland only leaves behind a barren, slushy cityscape consumed by ash. The dream girl in me became trapped in her dreams. Did Sofia remember that November night? Who could expect that the silver thread connecting me to my past would snap?

But in these claustrophobic moments of solitude, I put on my crimson coat — I relived these faraway daydreams and rewore my distant grins. The small moments, little wonders in time, became a layer around me; to protect me. With this coat, I could bear the coldest winter. Maybe one day I’ll live a life where new moments will become my new guiding stars. But for now it’s just me and my crimson coat.